Why is this so hard?
Two people who are parenting together but don’t exactly see eye-to-eye is very common.
Sometimes co-parenting relationships are strained, but even those who consider their partnerships really healthy can struggle (*raises hand*).
We want to have ease in navigating the waters of raising children, but things can get choppy or deep pretty quickly! Even if you discussed your parenting approach extensively before you had children, or had a good thing going when your kids were little, it can be rough.
When I’m working with parents, I often joke that you don’t have to parent from the same page, but you should probably get close enough that you’re at least in the same book.
It really is worth the investment of some time and good communication to ensure that you aren’t working at cross-purposes with your co-parent.
Fellow parent educator Rebecca Eanes explains why in her newest book, The Positive Parenting Workbook:
“Because each parent may have different values and ideas when it comes to child-rearing, arguments over who is right can complicate things. This is why laying ground rules and coming to an agreement on the main ideas will save you from future disagreements and tensions. Parenting on the same page isn’t only good for your relationship, but it’s good for your kids as well. When you present a united front, you are providing a sense of safety and security.”
Did I mention how much I love this book?
If you’ve been reading anything I’ve written, posted, or shared in the past 8 years, you know that I’m a huge promoter of positive, connected, responsive parenting. I live for it. I also really live it myself and I’ll go on record and say that it isn’t always easy. I gained so much from Rebecca’s last book (review right here!) so you can imagine how delighted I was when her workbook came out.
This section about bridging the gap with your partner spoke to me quite loudly. I’ve noticed that as time marches on and my child gets older my partner and I encounter new and interesting differences of opinion. I love how the writing exercises in Rebecca’s book allow the grown-ups to peel back the layers and really see not only your own, but your partner’s perspective.
I don’t know about you, but sometimes I don’t even know where I am coming from until I’ve taken a good hard look at my own internal thoughts, feelings, and dialogue. This workbook is a wonderful opportunity for any parent to fine-tune their approach. “Getting on the same parenting page” is only one section of this great resource. You get guidance in so many areas, including:
- Understanding how kid’s brains work
- Creating a vision for the future of your family
- How to be a proactive parent
- Becoming a confident leader for your children
- Teaching problem-solving
- Identifying and managing triggers
- Calm-down techniques
I really could go on, but instead, you can just order yourself a copy. You (and your children) will be glad you did.
Disclaimer: I received a complimentary copy of The Positive Parenting Workbook for review purposes.
Here’s my Amazon review: In this fabulous workbook, Rebecca Eanes shows us how to raise confident kids in an emotionally healthy home. Through relatable anecdotes and practical suggestions, Ms. Eanes guides us toward better relationships with our children. She gives solid advice and offers introspective writing exercises that make you think, and really work!
Sarah MacLaughlin is author of the award-winning book, What Not to Say: Tools for Talking with Young Children and has been featured in The Huffington Post. She brings over 20 years of experience working with children and families to her coaching practice. Sarah is also mom to an eight-year-old who gives her plenty of opportunities to take her own advice. She works with families one on one, in groups, and through online offerings.